


Just Teddy

by nicc



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, First Time, Fluff, I lied, Light Angst, M/M, Oops, Other, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Trans Character, non binary character, ok yeah I admit there’s a little bit of plot, these two are so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-10 11:50:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19905253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicc/pseuds/nicc
Summary: It is in the exact center of James’s queen-sized bed that Teddy predicts his world will come crashing down.





	Just Teddy

**Author's Note:**

> I’m seeing far too little fics with trans characters on this site and I really wanted to give it a shot here, hope you all enjoy

It is in the exact center of James’s queen-sized bed that Teddy predicts his world will come crashing down.

Fear had gripped Teddy’s heart the moment he allowed James to hover over him, and lingered in each of the kisses he returned to James, enthusiastic despite his aching chest and pounding heart.

He’d been tense the moment his back hit the sheets. He knows James noticed, and is so fucking grateful he hasn’t mentioned it. He really fucking hopes James didn’t think it was his fault.

Teddy promised himself he wouldn’t flinch away when James’s hands began to wander after dinner. He promised himself this every time, really, but his own nerves betrayed him every time their activities progressed to something less chaste. Each time James’s hands stray lower, encouraged by the fervor with which Teddy kisses him, Teddy’s fingers would gently encircle his wrists and bring him back to safe territory.

Teddy hates himself for it. He knew he was hurting James, even if James would never admit it.

And James had been far too patient and kind to him to ever deserve to feel guilty for wanting Teddy, or to feel as if Teddy didn’t want him back. And _gods_ , did Teddy want him back. 

But Teddy was scared. He couldn’t lose this, what he and James had. 

He needed James to understand. So he initiated things tonight. It didn’t take much, really, just a few well-placed kisses to James’s throat and the press of Teddy’s hands to his body and James was all his.

They’d stumbled into James’s bedroom, kissing and laughing quietly, Teddy forcing himself not to vomit all the way down the hallway.

Now, beneath James, fear is crawling its way up Teddy’s throat, but he forces himself to open his mouth.

“Jamie,” he breathes, tone urgent. “I have to tell you something.”

James hums but doesn’t look up, too focused on tugging Teddy’s joggers down his thighs. Teddy tries again, throat closing now. “Jamie, I-“ 

Teddy is horrified to hear is voice crack and break. He’d desperately wanted to be composed for this conversation. It appears he won’t get that much.

From his position atop the mound of pillows, he watches James still. When he locks eyes with Teddy his form is blurred and Teddy realizes, belatedly, that his eyes are wet. James’s face crumples and he’s immediately crawling up, taking Teddy’s face in his hands, swiping his thumbs under Teddy’s eyes. “Teddy. Teddy, hey, talk to me.” 

Teddy blinks, hard, swallows, tries again. “I need to tell you something.”

If he didn’t have his full attention before, he definitely did now. James’s forehead creases in concern. “Anything, Teddy, are you alright?” Even now, with nervousness and fear bleeding into it, James’s voice makes Teddy shiver. He fights to ignore the fresh surge of arousal swirling in his gut, coloring his cheeks and hair a soft pink. James notices, of course he does, and Teddy sees his eyes darken. “Teddy?”

Teddy closes his eyes and forces himself to speak around his heart, which currently resides in his throat. “James, I... I haven’t done this.”

He hears James’s nervous, disbelieving laugh and wishes to dissolve into the sheets. “Done... you mean had sex?” Before Teddy can shake his head or speak, James interrupts him, frowning. “No, wait, I know you’ve done some things. Haven’t done what, Teddy?”

His voice is impossibly soft. So free of judgement, so genuine, Teddy is embarrassed at how quickly he melts a fraction.

“I haven’t... Jamie, I have a...” Teddy falters. He doesn’t know how to say it to avoid any confusion. He steels himself then, decision made, gritting his teeth so hard he feels they might crack. “I can show you.”

At James’s bewildered and no less concerned expression, Teddy takes hold of James’s wrist and guides it down, down, down. Fingers covering James’s own, he cups himself firmly and waits with bated breath for his world to end, as predicted.

It never does.

Teddy watches the realization dawn on James face, first surprise and then comprehension and then his expression morphs into something cautiously, unreadably blank. Teddy wills himself, once again, not to throw up. James speaks after a moment. It’s almost too loud when paired with the sound of Teddy’s beating heart, having somehow relocated to Teddy’s ears while he spoke.

“So are you... Sorry, I’m genuinely asking, I don’t want to be…” James inhales deeply, steadying. “Are you a girl, Teddy?”

Again, Teddy sees nothing on James’s face but the genuine want for an answer. He relaxes the smallest amount before shaking his head firmly. His voice comes out small. “No. No, I’m just... me.”

It didn’t take much more than a thorough study of the female anatomy for Teddy to morph away the parts he was born with. He didn’t give himself a uterus, that was too complicated, but it didn’t require much effort anyway when he was only focused on inverting some things and rewiring nerve endings. It didn’t hurt anything that Teddy was a Healer, and a damn good one at that. The process, regardless, was miles away from comfortable, but the relief and joy Teddy felt when it actually worked was powerful enough to fuel ten Patronuses. Teddy wasn’t a girl, he knew that, he was just... Teddy. And having this just felt right.

His own contentment with himself didn’t stop him from fearing the idea of a sexual relationship. He didn’t know what he’d do if his partner didn’t get it. But Teddy had always had a spot softer for James than anyone else, and trusted him in ways that scared him terribly. When he finally mustered the courage to just kiss the man, he’d already allowed himself the fragile beginnings of hope that James could be it for him. 

James was incredible, and sweet, and so fucking understanding and wise. There was nothing Teddy could throw at him that James wouldn’t fully and wholeheartedly accept. He was an old soul in a twenty year old body, and Teddy loved him beyond words, though he had yet to confess as much.

Teddy knew all of this, but the relief he felt when James’s eyes softened in comprehension was still enough to make him want to cry again. 

“Gods, Teddy. I get it.” James kisses him then, so sweet it steals the air from Teddy’s lungs. “I really do.”

And if Teddy cries a little again as James, after a brief moment of checking to make sure he was okay to continue, slides his boxers down his thighs, James doesn’t bring it up or let it deter him.

“Are you alright?” James murmurs, hushed. He’s staring down at Teddy, awe gracing his features. “I guess... well, I guess I’ve never done this either, then.” He grins, bright and soft all at once, and gods, Teddy loves him.

“I’m not worried. I have confidence in your abilities,” Teddy tells him, and means it. James never did anything by halves, and Teddy was positive his desire for this man would far outweigh the discomfort of any awkward fumbling. “Just don’t go thinking this negates the need for lube or anything and we’ll be fine.” James laughs, a bit in quiet disbelief.

It becomes quickly apparent to Teddy, however, that James really didn’t know what he was doing. But that’s alright. Teddy’s very patient, and James is more than happy to let him guide his fingers to the bundle of nerves that quickly leaves Teddy a gasping mess.

Being filled by James though, by anyone, really, as Teddy hadn’t exactly experienced much beyond his own fingers, was better than he ever could’ve imagined. He’s mildly embarrassed at the noise that tears itself from his throat once James is fully inside of him, but James doesn’t seem to mind at all- quite the opposite, really.

Teddy is nothing if not indulgent, and he admits sheepishly to James that he may have given himself a few extra nerve endings, but James just laughs breathlessly and kisses him and promises in so many words to stimulate every one.

And, gods, James does. 

He’s brilliant, of course he is, cradling Teddy’s hips in his hands and kissing Teddy in between quiet exhales, rocking into Teddy in a way that lights him on fire.

And Teddy’s lost in it, in _James,_ in the way he’s taking Teddy’s wrists in one hand and using the other to tease Teddy where their hips meet, to reduce Teddy to pleased sighs. He’s a mess in the way that James sucks marks into the hollow of his throat, and nibbles his lower lip, encouragement and praise falling from his lips as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

It’s overwhelming, all of it, pleasure singing every nerve in Teddy’s body, and he shakes. James watches him do it like he’s trying to absorb everything, like he can’t quite believe they’re doing this, and Teddy watches him start to crumble. James groans quietly into the hollow of Teddy’s throat and Teddy feels his hips and hand stutter.

“Gods, Teddy, fuck, I’m-“

It’s all the warning Teddy gets before James is coming, breathing brokenly against Teddy’s mouth and nearly collapsing. Teddy wouldn’t have minded much if he did.

James mumbles hurried apologies all the way down Teddy’s torso, punctuating each one with a wet press of his mouth. 

Teddy doesn’t really have time to tell him it’s okay, that he enjoyed himself enough, before James, in a brilliant display of improvisation, nudges lower and closes his mouth over Teddy’s clit. And _sucks_. 

And Teddy shatters. He concludes right then that James is an exceedingly fast learner, has to be, one moment fumbling to find Teddy’s clit at all and reducing him to a whimpering mess with his fingers and tongue the next.

It doesn’t take long. How could it, when Teddy is shaking this badly?

He comes minutes after James begins, with a highly embarrassing whine and the dawning realization that he’s locked James in place with his thighs. Teddy flushes and stutters out an apology, but James takes it in stride, and seems perfectly content in licking Teddy right through his orgasm. 

He doesn’t seem to mind Teddy squirming and pleading quietly to come again, either, and guides him through yet another set of waves with a hum and a hand clutching Teddy’s own.

He’s wonderful. _Gods,_ does Teddy love him.

A fact that Teddy is so very sure of, but still doesn’t mean to let slip through his lips in a temporary, post-orgasmic lapse in judgment. But James doesn’t seem bothered at all by the confession, smiling at Teddy a tad wistfully, eyes impossibly fond.

“I’ve loved you all my life, Teds,” he murmurs, almost painfully sincere.

And Teddy sighs in relief, feeling, for what seems like the millionth time that night, like he might cry.

And if he does, well, James lets it slide again. He’s looking a bit misty himself, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! let me know what you think & constructive criticism is always welcome


End file.
